After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
tell me about the fingering
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