Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
