So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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