were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you will always have a special place in my vag
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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