Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize