So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had to cum in my sink.
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