tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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