holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
