So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
