Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
