i just google imaged poop.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
