i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
