Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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