why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize