Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize