dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
