I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
