i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
