Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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