Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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