we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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