Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize