My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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