talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I intend to get homeless drunk
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
