Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
