Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she smelled like a LAN party
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
