My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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