doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
