I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
