I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
