So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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