sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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