her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
