im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
