Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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