your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
