no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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