i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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