actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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