is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
