Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
