hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
