He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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