Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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