He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize