nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize