even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
