At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
