you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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