Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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