I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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