I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
