We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
