Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
