cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let's get the cat blown out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
