I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
