dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
