erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
