You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Alive.
So much puke
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
