he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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